Posted by: lanag87 | November 9, 2014

The Great Poop Disaster of 2014

It was a big poop. No. It was a massive poop. No, that doesn’t do the trick. It was a colossal poop. Close enough.

We were sitting at breakfast eating french toast. Dylan was strapped into his seat and alternating between eating his food and tossing it onto the floor into the waiting mouths of the dogs. They always sit around Dylan’s seat at mealtime. It’s been a pact to share food between my son and his furry siblings since he started eating solids.

It wasn’t long into breakfast when the toots started. Except they didn’t stop. This was a tooting/pooping noise to beat a grown man after a marathon session eating a dozen chili hotdogs with a side of lasagna. It went on for about 2 minutes with my husband I staring. Every once in a while I would glance at my husband, wondering if he was secretly pressing a fake noise button.

I didn’t realize just how bad it was until I went to grab a piece of food that fell into my son’s lap. That’s when I saw the poop that was on his shirt.

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It was everywhere. His pants, his shirt, filled up the diaper and spilled all over. It was on his hands, his feet, my hands, my shirt.

We finally skipped the wipes and went straight for the tub. Half an hour later – cleaned up baby, but it didn’t last.

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That shirt and his pants were destined for the same treatment. 5 hours later. It was an after-dinner snack. Dylan & I were on the sectional couch downstairs.

He leaned forward, suddenly focused, and the tooting/pooping sound started. I really thought – no, it can’t be as bad. Not twice in one day.

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I won’t show you the shirt, it’s worse than the pants. Or the couch for that matter. Or my clothes, again. Diarrhea at its worst.

It took Febreeze and another baby bath, and some nose plugs.

I’d like to say that’s the worst poop disaster we’ll ever have to deal with. But he’s only 1 years old. I’ve got several more years of terrors to watch for. Hello motherhood!

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